How to Let Go
of Someone You Love
You know it's over. Maybe he left, maybe you did, maybe it never really started. Your head understands it perfectly. And still you check his profile at midnight, replay old conversations and wait for a message that doesn't come. I've worked with people for years as a psychic and healer, and "How do I let go?" sits right next to "Will he come back?" So let me tell you how I see it. No spells, no fairy tales.
Why can't I let go?
Because your head and your heart are having two different conversations. The head lists the facts: he lied, he left, it wasn't working. The heart doesn't care about facts. It cares about how it felt.
And that's the thing: very often we're not holding on to the person. We're holding on to a feeling. Being chosen. Being safe. The hope that this time someone will stay. The person is gone, but the feeling is still looking for an address.
Ask a different question
When people tell me about a breakup, they usually give me the whole story. He said this, she wrote that, and then on Friday... And I say: stop. The question isn't "Why did he do this?" It's "How do I feel right now — and have I felt like this before?"
Very often the answer goes back much further than this relationship. Most of us were a little under-loved as children. Not because our parents were bad, but because they were human. So when someone leaves, it doesn't only hurt today. It touches an old wound too. That's why it feels so much bigger than it "should."
Don't buy a spell
Let's be honest about my industry. There are plenty of people who will happily sell you a ritual to "cut the cord" or "bring him back" — usually for a four-figure price. Please don't. Nobody can switch your feelings off from the outside, and nobody should promise you that.
Everything that's magical is also human. What keeps you tied to someone isn't a mysterious cord. It's an emotion you haven't felt all the way through yet.
Letting go is not forgetting
Many people think letting go means you stop caring. It doesn't. You can still love someone and let them go. Letting go means you stop waiting. You stop organizing your days around a person who isn't in them anymore.
Think of water in your hand. Hold it gently and it stays. Squeeze your fist and it runs through your fingers. Love works in a similar way. The tighter you grip, the less is left.
The tighter you grip, the less is left.
It passes. It really does.
Everything passes, including this. Look back: you've been here before, maybe with a different person, maybe with a different loss, and you made it through. Storms happen. If you have yourself, you'll get through this one too.
Nobody can tell you exactly how long it will take, and if someone promises you a date, walk away. But you are not powerless. You don't let go of love. You let go of waiting. Nothing more.