Be Yourself —
But What Does That Mean?
"Just be yourself and everything will be fine." We've all heard it. But what does it actually mean? How do you know when you're really being yourself? A big part of my work as a healer is helping people clear away the masks they've put on — masks that have filled their lives with chaos and trouble.
We don't like ourselves very much
What we think about ourselves and what we feel inside are often two different things.
During healing sessions I see how much people dislike themselves deep down. Too weak, too slow, too small, too "something". We're very good at thinking badly of ourselves.
Being yourself starts with accepting who you are — all of it. Your strengths and your flaws, your abilities and your limits. Understanding what serves you and what doesn't. That lesson takes a lifetime, and every experience teaches you something about yourself.
The roles we play
Culture, friends and trends all hand us a recipe for who we should be. Luckily, nobody in the world fits all of it.
So we step into roles instead: the good mother, the perfect wife, the model employee, the independent woman. Then comes a strange inner friction — a feeling that the picture isn't us.
Instead of stopping to ask whether the role fits, we try harder. Be an even better wife, an even better employee. And then the body starts to protest. Your inner self knows exactly when you're running away from it.
The world often shows us our reflection in a distorting mirror. Trust yourself instead.
The world often shows us our reflection in a distorting mirror.
Stop comparing
Everyone is born with different traits and talents. When we keep wishing we were like someone else, things stop working for us.
Instead of looking outward, ask yourself what you enjoy, and build from there. You're never "good for nothing". If something isn't working, life may simply be telling you you're looking in the wrong place.
Can't get over the vaulting horse? Maybe try the swimming pool. Find the place where you feel good, and stop forcing yourself to be different.
Weakness is a kind of strength
There's enormous strength in accepting your vulnerability. When you know even the harder parts of yourself, you're very hard to break.
Don't be afraid of tears — they cleanse. You don't have to be strong for everyone else. Be kind to yourself, and talk to people about what hurts. You'll be surprised how much love comes back.
You're OK
Know yourself. Accept yourself. Stop comparing, and ignore the templates the world wants to squeeze you into. You'll feel lighter, freer, and a strange but pleasant calm will settle in.
You're not missing anything. If your dreams come from who you really are, sooner or later they'll come true.