What Maturity
Really Means
We hear it all the time: "He's so immature." "She needs to grow up." As if maturity were the ultimate measure of a person — and the deciding factor in whether we want to be with them. After years of seeing people inside out as a clairvoyant and healer, I've come to a conclusion: what we usually call maturity often isn't maturity at all.
"Stop acting like a child"
Every time I hear that phrase, I disagree. My first thought is: why?
Being childlike includes a lot of what adults need to be happy. Talking freely about feelings — the basis of healthy relationships. Ignoring tired social rules — which lets many of us see who we really are. Curiosity about the world, which makes every day interesting.
Children believe, a little naively, that something great is just around the corner. They fall, cry, and run on. That carefree spirit helps us live through failure without falling apart. Why shouldn't adults keep it?
Responsibility
We tend to think being responsible means not making mistakes and always choosing the "better" option — often at the expense of our own feelings and dreams.
To me, responsibility is understanding that every choice has consequences, good and bad. If you take a risk consciously, knowing what it may bring, you're being responsible.
A more stressful job with a bigger salary may look responsible to the world. For your health and strength, it may be the opposite.
Responsibility is respecting yourself, your abilities and your limits — and how you deal with losing.
Responsibility is respecting yourself, your abilities and your limits — and how you deal with losing.
Humility
In common understanding, humility means keeping your head down, holding back, not speaking up. In that sense, it's not — and I hope will never be — my favorite word. I'm a rebellious soul, and I'm fine with that. I see nothing wrong with saying clearly what I think.
To me, humility is something else: knowing that "I don't know". Being open to the idea that others may bring far more into my life than I expect. It's not keeping quiet. It's listening carefully — and then saying what I think, gently and calmly.
So what is maturity?
For me, maturity is understanding and listening to your emotions. Being able to hold an honest conversation with yourself and stay in touch with your heart.
When you can do that, you feel good with yourself. Emotions don't rule you, and you don't hurt others. You give yourself the freedom to be who you are — and give others the same freedom.
Trying to fit social expectations has, paradoxically, little to do with it. When you're smiling inside and at peace with yourself and the world, you're mature. Simple as that.
A word about us guys
Women often complain that men are immature. Part of the reason: women generally find it easier to connect with their emotions. We men often get lost between who we're supposed to be and who we are. We wrestle with ourselves inside — and a restless inner world makes bad decisions much more likely.