Love: The Key to
Almost Everything
Plastic hearts, teddy bears, greeting cards with pretty quotes. Like so much else, love has been commercialized. And yet it's the most important feeling — and the most important energy — we'll ever experience. Years of work as a healer have taught me one thing: the vast majority of our problems come from a lack of love on some level.
Love has many faces
One small word covers a huge range. Love for yourself, for your family, for a partner, for friends, for the world — each feels completely different.
The ancient Greeks already distinguished Eros, passionate and stormy, from Agape, calm and universal. It's worth making room for all of them.
"Under-loved"
Almost everyone carries something from childhood. Most of us, in some way, experienced a lack of love as little kids — being "under-loved", as I call it.
As we grow, that hunger grows with us. We start chasing love at any cost, changing ourselves just so someone will finally love us. It never works.
Instead, stop and look at where love was missing, so you can heal those places. Give yourself what you didn't get.
Become a loving parent to your own inner child.
It can take longer than you'd like. It's worth it. Feeling at home in your own skin helps you survive almost anything.
Become a loving parent to your own inner child.
Start with yourself
Clients often tell me: "He did this. He didn't do that." They want to fix their partner. That's not where it starts.
Ask yourself first: Do I take care of myself? Do I accept myself? Do I really listen to my partner?
Very often, when one person softens and stops pushing, the other starts behaving differently too.
The best relationships I see are built on three spaces: each partner has their own, where they feel good and safe alone — and together they create a third, shared one.
There will be arguments. Love between two people is the stormiest emotion of all. You need to forgive, understand and listen. And if you're suffering too much and it's truly hopeless, you also need to know when to leave.
Love for the world
This is the hardest kind of love to feel — and the most healing. When you feel it, good things start to come your way and people seem kinder. What you send out comes back.
How do you find it? Through observation. Walk in a park or forest. Look closely at a flower, a tree, the shapes of clouds. A moment of real attention opens you up.
And even on a bad day, say something kind to a stranger or a colleague. That kindness will come back sooner than you think.
When you feel that love, worries shrink and fears fade. You just want to be here, now. The more often you find that state, the better life works.
Simply because you remember what matters most. Love.