Love Yourself First
The love we give to others gives us wings. The love we receive gives us peace. But the love we have for ourselves matters most — because that's what carries us through the hardest moments.
The rash that wouldn't go away
I'll never forget one client. Her whole life was falling apart, and every two weeks a strange rash appeared on her skin that her doctors couldn't explain.
During the session I asked: "When did you last smile at yourself in the mirror?"
"I don't have time for that," she said.
"And when did you last tell yourself that you love yourself? You can do that any time."
Silence. Then tears. She couldn't remember.
After the session I gave her a few simple exercises. She did them, and her life started to change. A few weeks later she called — her voice brighter than I'd ever heard it. The rash was gone. (One client’s story — not a diagnosis.)
That's when I understood what matters most: love — and above all, love for ourselves.
The inner critic
Deep down, many of us don't actually like ourselves. We give up on dreams before we try. We call ourselves stupid or ugly — and then wonder why others don't like us.
That's the inner critic. Instead of quietly pointing out what you could work on, it shouts. Listen to it long enough and you spiral into negative emotions and forget what happiness feels like.
Exercise 2: meet your inner child
Once you start thinking better of yourself, go a level deeper with a simple meditation.
Find a quiet moment and get comfortable. Breathe deeply and let your body relax. Picture a place where you feel safe — a meadow, a beach, your grandmother's kitchen.
Invite your inner child there. Picture yourself as a little kid. Wait, and try to talk.
Don't be surprised if the child is tearful or doesn't want to talk at first. When we're hard on ourselves, we hurt that child, so it may be wary. Be patient and gentle. Don't come too close or stay too far. Speak with love — you're talking to yourself.
Ask what hurts, what it likes, what it wishes for. If there's a wish you can fulfill in your adult life, do it. At the end, hold the child close to your heart. You'll feel your chest grow lighter.
Come back regularly. That child can't wait to help you.
Every day, not just once
Smile every time you see yourself in the mirror. Speak kindly about yourself. Keep talking to your inner child.
You're the most important person you'll ever meet. Treat yourself that way.
You're the most important person you'll ever meet.